Tuesday, 15 March 2016

Learn from Ciara girls - Choose your man wisely!


Okay so this post right here brought me out of my recent coma! I just had to post - exhausted or not! So... which living person on earth has not heard that Ciara said YES!! Yeees, she said yes! This is no longer news as the YES pics have gone viral in the last few days. Personally when I heard the news, I was so excited for her and Russell Wilson. I mean who isn't happy to see love? Love sweet love! But deeper than that, I was  genuinely happy for Ciara. Okay so I dont know her personally, but anybody who knows anything about what she appears to have/has been through recently on account of her ex and father or her child Future, would feel genuine happiness for her too.

Like I said, I don't know the in and outs of their relationship, and yes there are always two sides to every story, but it just seems to me that whatever the case may be, whether a celebrity or women that I do know personally, there just aren't enough happy endings for black women. So you see, seeing a sistah who has been through so much (public) heartache, eventually being loved, publicly celebrated and coming out on top... kinda brings joyful tears to my eyes. YES CIARA! YES RUSSELL WILSON! YEEEEEES LOVE! LOL! 

Anyhooo, so the good news aside, what really struck me today was a post about Ciara's engagement that I stumbled upon on Facebook earlier. You know how they say that a picture speaks a thousand words... well the picture above spoke volumes to me before I even read the caption! One woman two men and the difference couldn't be clearer!



Now don't get me wrong, I am not saying that anybody has the right to judge another person's relationship or choice of partner, but what I am saying is that often times us girls (myself included) do not exercise necessary wisdom and common sense when choosing our men. Like I already said, I do not personally know the parties involved in this triangle (Ciara/Future/Russell Wilson),  and I KNOW that one should not necessarily opine on Ciara's relationships with these two men based on these two carefully selected pictures... but there was just something so provocative about the title image above. Then I read the caption, which reads as follows:

Same woman, two different men. Ciara's two most recent relationships are a perfect example of how your choice on a mate affects your life. A woman is by nature a help mate so she is capable many times unconsciously of taking on the mindset and lifestyle of the man she is with. This is why it is so absolutely vital for a woman to know her worth and make the wisest choice in her mate. You don't date or accept the proposal of the guy who is on the level of going places you don't want to go. You accept the proposal from the man who can lead you to where you want to be. Whether you realize it or not, that man is leading you somewhere. Find out where he is going before you jump on board. If he was deceptive and made you think he was going somewhere he wasn't, get off the ride and go back home. Time is everything to waste it on a man who has no intentions of leading you to where you want and need to be.

Real talk right?! Sometimes we know what we know, but just need to be told and reminded! Know your worth! KNOW THINE WORTH! Personally, I think that most of us girls know when a man is a wrong'un, but for one reason or the other continue down a path the will most likely lead to heartache and a waste of our precious time! Loneliness, boredom, age, society, pity, money, good looks, good sex... worreva! When the reason is wrong (of no substance) the result will very rarely be right!  

Apart from cases of serious deceit (and even sometimes then), most times we ignore the obvious, thinking that our case will be different. But the signs are generally always there. Look at Ciara's case for instance... I am sure that Future is a very lovely man (*yimmu*) but apart from the fact that he is a rapper (with the lifestyle that that entails) the 32 year old already had 3 children with 3 different women when he started dating Ciara! If it quacks like a duck...? RED FLAG perhaps?! 

Russell on the other hand is a wholesome young quarterback who is an active volunteer in the Seattle community who makes weekly visits on his days off to the Seattle Children's Hospital alongside a host of other charity and fundraising work. He is a devout Christian who although has been previously been married (his ex wife allegedly cheated on him with is team mate!!!) has no children and has publicly declared and displayed love for Ciara and her son!  You know what they say about a man who can love another man's child?! Potential perhaps?

We live and learn and I am sure that Ciara has learnt a lesson about her choice in men. However, for the rest of you lovely ladies who might not have found your happy ending yet... 

Ciara eventually chose her man wisely.... be like Ciara...


..... and Russell, I hope that you don't make me eat my laptop! Lol!

Thanks for reading!

Anthonia

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