Thursday, 10 September 2015

GIRL DON'T DATE HIM!!! Apps for girls to review guys!!!

LADIES LADIES LADIES!!!! This is for you... but guys you should read too... cos it's about y'all!

Okay, so a very good friend of mine has been going through some pretty horrible relationship issues for a while now, with a man she has been in a relationship and loved for over 10 years and now has two young children with. Turns out he was living a double life 'his words' and had multiple simultaneous relationships... one lasting three years... whilst with her (??!!!). As a woman who has had my fair share (and some) of man crap, my heart literally breaks whenever I think about what she is going through. I don't mean to man bash, but some guys just ain't right!!! As women, like us, I am sure that most, if not all of you ladies have had some horrible 'situation' with a guy that is by all accounts... newsworthy... for all the wrong reasons! He didn't tell me he was married... I didn't know he was bisexual... he never told me he had been to prison.... he lied to me about his age/qualifications/identity... he has abusive tendencies...he is addicted to pornography, the list goes on. I tell you... some of the things that I hear during girl talk would send you straight to a convent! I don't have daughters, but I shudder to think what kinda guys are out there for the young girls today! Lord help them!



Now my question is this.... if before you got serious with THAT guy, you had access to important information about him that would potentially affect your decision to date him or not (1) would you use it to learn more about who you are getting involved with? (2) Would it make you think more carefully before getting involved with him or potentially stay away all together? For me, the answer is a resounding YES on both counts. Yes yes yes yes yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees! Hell yes! This is what you call a potential partner checker. Like a credit check... but for men! Is he truly all he says he is... Something like this, if used correctly could spare many a woman a wasted youth, a life time of woes.. and in many cases her life altogether! Imagine not wasting 1, 5, 10 years with a bad egg, or not having children with a wrong'un... or not meeting that guy for dinner that fateful night...who later turns out to be a wife beater/killer! Sorry to sound dramatic but this stuff happens and it all starts with .... 'Hello'!


So during my own tearful times, when I started to see the light again, I realised that no woman should have to go through some of the crap that we girls go through, and that if I knew that a guy was a bad egg... not just immature or silly, but a BAD EGG, it was my DUTY to tell a sista straight up that the guy just ain't right...beware! Guys be thinking that you are jealous when you split up and they are dating another woman... when all you are really thinking (or should be) is, that poor girl (the new squeeze/victim) has no clue what she has let herself in for... I started to think about how to develop some type of app/site whereby women could enter a guy's name... and tahdah... vital relationship information would pop up! Is he married? Does he have a criminal record? Is he known on the gay scene? Has he been registered bankrupt? Is he abusive? E.g. restraining orders issued? Etcetera etcetera etcetera... So with the best of intentions, I bought a domain name and parked the idea! (I have kids people.... time is like gold dust around here!) Only to overhear a few months later on 'Good Morning Britain' one morning whilst busying around the house, that an app kinda like that (not exactly) already exists... so much for my (non-existent due diligence!) Enter the  LULU app! 

Click on pic to be taken to site

So the Lulu app (formerly Luluvise) ..'is a mobile app that allows female users of the social networking service Facebook to make positive and negative evaluations of male users on the basis of their romantic, personal, and sexual appeal.' Now I am not trying to promote this particular app, so if you want to find out more about them click here. However, the fact that this app exists (launched December 2011) and by November 2013 reportedly had over 1 million users tells me that there are many women out there who are thinking along the same lines as me. 

During my research on the LULU app.... I discovered an even more interesting app that is a bit more akin to my idea! Enter...DON'T DATE HIM GIRL!!!! The site was launched in 2005 by a lady called Tasha Joseph and essentially, unlike the LULU app which has a multiple choice tick screen, this site allowed members to post anonymous reviews and photographs of cheating men to the site. Interesting right? As a woman I am fist punching the air saying 'yes'! Out them! But common sense tells me that this kind of site is open to witch hunts, false allegations, revenge posts and ultimately lots of law suits... anybody heard of defamation of character?! No..?. What about libel? Which is kind of what happened to this site and so it changed tack, and in July 2010 the site issued a press release that it would be removing the "database of alleged cads" to refocus on "putting out quality content such as articles, videos and podcasts that help women learn to date better, forming content partnerships and creating engaging mobile platforms" See more about this site on Wikipedia: here. Access the site itself: here





So where does this leave the sisterhood protecting each other against predatory men? Well, herein lies the question, and so, just like in the intro to this post, I'll ask it again... if before you got serious with THAT guy, you had access to important information about him that would potentially affect your decision to date him or not (1) would you use it to learn more about who you are getting involved with? (2) Would it make you think more carefully before getting involved with him or potentially stay away all together?

Ladies... my domain name is still parked, my friend's heart is still broken... and we as women are still the 'fairer' sex and need to find ways to protect ourselves and each other. Do we need to do something to help each other out here? A safe/private network where information is shared that could potentially save another woman a lot of pain and hardship?!  Leave a comment or email me anonymously... In the mean time, please take time to know who you are getting involved with romantically sisters! Be smart and safe...

Thanks for reading and as always,

Stay confident and beautiful.... 

Anthonia

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