Friday, 26 June 2015

SPINSTER ALERT!!! Insufficent Number of ‘Suitable' Black Men for Black Women to Marry!

Okay so by now you know that I kind of live on social media... it wasn't always like that but let's just say that now, I liked to be plugged in to what's happening! So, yesterday as per usual, I was scrolling down my Facebook Newsfeed and I stumbled upon a very interesting post: a news report by Aljazeera America entitled 'Why African American Women Stuggle To Marry'. As a black woman who unfortunately like most black women has a sad story to tell about her 'interaction' with a 'brother'... let's just say that I couldn't hit the play button fast enough...

The report, as the title suggests, essentially highlights the fact that an alarmingly high number of educated and successful black women are 'failing' to marry as a result of the smaller number of available professional black men. Reason for this? Well according to the report, the inordinately high number of black men that are incarcerated in America, coupled with interracial marriage which is heavily stacked against black women who are apparently 2.5 times less likely to marry outside of their race (for various reason) than their male counterparts.

Although there was nothing that as a black woman I hadn't pondered, discussed and pretty much quietly worried about already, it was still extremely interesting to know that my thoughts are shared by others. Shared enough to be reported on not only a major news channel such as Aljazeera America, but also, in the Economist (here), nbc news (here) and many other reports. I have embedded the actual 4:09 minute video below for you to watch for yourself.

I personally found the report interesting, enlightening, provocative, worthy of further discourse and... bottom line? Quite scary. I don't mean to be selfish, but with things going the way they are at the moment, I am kind of relieved that I have two sons and no precious daughters to have sleepless nights worrying about whether or not they will ever find suitable partners. *Sigh!*

After sharing this video on Facebook, one friend asked me if this issue also affected Nigerian women living in the States/diaspora. I found this to be a very interesting question, to which I literally responded... 'Hell Yeah!' Despite the fact that this report focused on African-American women specifically, without a shadow of a doubt, this problem is one that reaches far further afield.

I can't speak for the entire female black population on the planet (obviously) but as a black African woman who has grown up in the UK, I definitely feel that black women here are far ahead of their male counterparts in terms of the number of us doing well in education and careers. It is constantly reported in the UK media how badly young black boys are performing in school and the low number of black men in higher education compared to black girls/women. This is a big problem!

To be honest, these reports generally refer to Caribbean boys and men and not African boys/men, the latter of which seem to be performing extremely well in (higher) education and careers. Hence we find that many black women (regardless of where they are from) who want to get married and are looking for successful men with potential tend to gravitate towards African men (who culturally are also generally more inclined to get married). This high demand for successful black men is not being met with supply and in many cases, as far as Nigerian women are concerned, many will return 'home' to Nigeria in the hope of finding a suitable husband... bigger pool to fish in and all that...

Anyway, just like the African-American father interviewed in the report, I too worry about what the future holds for the black family. I am totally in favour of interracial marriage (give me David Beckham any day), however I strongly feel that black women should at least have the choice, which at the moment, for those of us who live in the West, it appears we do not.

What to do... what to do...? What do you all think?

Stay confident and beautiful



  1. Marry a white or Asian. Problem solved.