Monday, 22 June 2015

Fathers day... An opportunity to celebrate amazing single mothers.


Yesterday was father's day... and it was so lovely to see amazing father's being celebrated. My Facebook news feed was flooded with photos of my friends (male and female) posing proudly with their fathers; my male friends posing proudly with their children and my female friends posting pics of their significant other sharing a tender moment with their child(ren). I sincerely felt that 'warm and fuzzy feeling' looking at these pictures, and although I don't know many of these men personally, I was so happy to see good dads being recognised, acknowledged and celebrated (even on a commercially motivated day like father's day). However, I also took time to recognise that there are many women, like myself, who have never had (or no longer have), a father to celebrate, and/or who might not (or may no longer) have a significant other involved in their child's life, for whatever reason. To all of these incredible women... who have raised and/or are raising children alone... this post is in your honour.


Now I know that there will be some people reading this who will be thinking, yes we know that mothers are amazing... and that is why we have a mother's day dedicated to them. Fair enough! That is very true. However, this post is not just about celebrating mothers... No... I know that mothers are amazing, I am a mother myself, and I know what I go through and sacrifice on a daily basis for the well being and happiness of my children. So yes! Mothers rock... However this post is about acknowledging a special type of mother at a time when she may be feeling particularly vulnerable. The mother who through no fault of her own, has been left alone to raise her child(ren); be it because of a partner who has walked out, a partner who has passed away or any other unfortunate reason.

You see, as silly and irrelevant as a commercially motivated day like father's day might seem to some, the fact of the matter is that we have it and it is widely celebrated. In an ideal world, every single child would have a dedicated and devoted mother and father. However, sadly that is not the reality and the simple truth is that in the majority of lone parent homes, it is the mother who is the lone parent trying desperately to meet all her child(ren)s needs. To those mothers.... I stand up and salute you!


Raising a child is the sweetest, most fulfilling and rewarding experience that anybody, male or female, could possibly experience. In a family setting where both mother and father are not only present but involved, a child will thrive. In such a setting there are two people dedicated to the well being of the child, two people to teach and prepare the child for life, two people for the child to model themselves on. We constantly hear, and it makes sense, that it is much better for a child when both parents are involved in his or her upbringing. However, for many of us, sadly that is/was just not the reality, and so whether your mother was that strong woman raising you alone, or you at that amazing woman raising your child(ren) alone... please know that this father's day in the midst of all those women appreciating their good men, you were and are not alone, you were and are not unappreciated and even though you could not give your child the family that you desire with all your heart... your child loves you, appreciates you and knows that you are and always will do your best by them.


As they say in my beautiful language that is my mother tongue - yoruba - 'you will profit from them' (loose translation). Basically meaning that all the blood, sweat and tears that you have shed on behalf of your children will not be in vain. You will live to enjoy the fruits of your labour. It is well with you...

So... single mums past and present, although you can never take the place of a good father in your child's life... Black Cleopatra celebrates you for the irreplaceable mother that you are.

Just to lift your spirits a little, look at some pictures of a few successful children raised by single mothers.

Jay Z with his mother

Kanye West with his mother

Diddy/Sean Combs with his mother

Shaquille O'Neal and his mother

Samuel L Jackson and his mother


Stay confident and beautiful

Anthonia

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